I am going to get personal today. I feel like I need to say this so I am just going to. This isn’t about some DIY project. It’s about my family. If that’s not ok, come back later this week. I’ll talk about our entry closet makeover.
It has been a daunting few months for us. The summer flew by like a tornado and before we could get into the swing of the new school year the world turned upside down. I am watching my husband care for an ill family member. This person is on hospice and has a very short time left on this earth. I need to tell you how much I admire him. He quit his job to care for this person. He is trying to work enough at a consulting gig to cover our medical insurance while working all night to make sure this person has supervision. He’s exhausted, he’s weary, and he’s my hero.
He isn’t doing it because he has to, though he feels like it’s the right thing to do. He’s doing it because he WANTS to. He wants to be there for this person in a way no one ever has been for him, because that is the kind of man that he is.
He’s a better mother and wife than I am. The house where he is doing this is an hour away from our home. He was waiting till just before the kids went to bed then leaving, staying up all night and then coming home in the morning to make lunches for the kids and drive the teen to school. I convinced him not to, to wait until traffic was better and come later. I can make lunches and make another stop in the morning. He still comes home and makes dinner for us every night. I’m a blessed girl.
Death is cruel and long and ugly. I wouldn’t wish this process on anyone. He talks about his day and I see his eyes well up, hear his voice crack, and it breaks my heart.
Those days I feel frustrated because he isn’t here and we are pinching pennies and can’t go anywhere and do anything, those seem to be the days that I get smacked in the face with how blessed we are and reminded what a great man I was lucky enough to have dropped in my lap.
The house is more of a wreck than usual and the laundry pile hasn’t dwindled much since we got back from my brother’s wedding in Denver. It’s hard to care when we see so little of each other these days. We’re rejoicing in the 5 year old learning to read and being SO excited about it….. and in the 4 year old and his funny sense of humor, and wishing the college girl was home more… because we miss her.
Times like this make me grateful for what I have, and mostly WHO I have…
Work to find joy in what is around you today, because it might not always be the same…. And if you see my husband, give him a pat on the back, he deserves it.
XO!
Scottie
8 Comments
Joanne
October 6, 2014 at 6:54 AMScottie, I am so sorry you are going through this, sending you big {{{hugs}}}.
Thinking of you and your family,
JoJo
Eliesa
October 6, 2014 at 9:16 AMHe is definitely one of the good guys. I’m sorry you are all going through this, I know it’s an incredibly horrible experience. I will keep you guys in my prayers and send good thoughts your way. I’d hug your husband, but I pretty sure that would just freak him out. Xoxo
Lois Hughes
October 6, 2014 at 9:44 AMWhen you have a test in life – you get a testimony. Just as you’ve shared today. Having walked in your shoes, as uncomfortable as they are right now, I can tell you that you will look back on these times and will have a lifetime of memories and depth of growth as a family, a husband and wife, as a person, that you otherwise would never have experienced. I’m keeping you, our husband, your family, and your ailing family member in my prayers. I pray for strength and courage for you all to do the things that your heart desires and wants to do. I pray for peace, God’s perfect peace over your loved one that they would rest in the assurance that they have a God who loves them and will welcome them home with loving arms.
Lastly, I would say to you, know that you have friends and neighbors that care and are only a phone call away. You are not alone.
Hugs and prayers coming your way…..
LarryD
October 6, 2014 at 6:46 PMBeautiful post, Scottie. You say you’re blessed to have him, but he’s equally blessed to have a wife as understanding and committed as yourself. Praying for all of you.
Susie Miller
October 7, 2014 at 8:54 AMBeautiful post Scottie.
Praying for you and your family. Brian is one of the good guys and a blessing to anyone in his life. husbands as our heroes make life a bit easier and certainly richer. I know you have been a gift and blessing to him as well.
hugs all around.
Scottie
October 7, 2014 at 12:02 PMThanks so much Susie.
Jill
October 7, 2014 at 10:04 AMIt sounds like you married an amazing man. You are both doing this for a loved one in need in your own different ways. It is a gift you are giving to someone who truly needs it.
It was wonderful meeting you last weekend. In spite of the “busy-ness” around us you were a great sounding board to help me focus my business goals and marketing message. I am newly inspired.
Scottie
October 7, 2014 at 12:02 PMIt was great to meet you too Jill! I really enjoyed chatting with you. You’ve got a good plan, and some great ideas and vision… you can TOTALLY do it! 🙂