I am going to get personal today. I feel like I need to say this so I am just going to. This isn’t about some DIY project. It’s about my family. If that’s not ok, come back later this week. I’ll talk about our entry closet makeover.
It has been a daunting few months for us. The summer flew by like a tornado and before we could get into the swing of the new school year the world turned upside down. I am watching my husband care for an ill family member. This person is on hospice and has a very short time left on this earth. I need to tell you how much I admire him. He quit his job to care for this person. He is trying to work enough at a consulting gig to cover our medical insurance while working all night to make sure this person has supervision. He’s exhausted, he’s weary, and he’s my hero.
He isn’t doing it because he has to, though he feels like it’s the right thing to do. He’s doing it because he WANTS to. He wants to be there for this person in a way no one ever has been for him, because that is the kind of man that he is.
He’s a better mother and wife than I am. The house where he is doing this is an hour away from our home. He was waiting till just before the kids went to bed then leaving, staying up all night and then coming home in the morning to make lunches for the kids and drive the teen to school. I convinced him not to, to wait until traffic was better and come later. I can make lunches and make another stop in the morning. He still comes home and makes dinner for us every night. I’m a blessed girl.
Death is cruel and long and ugly. I wouldn’t wish this process on anyone. He talks about his day and I see his eyes well up, hear his voice crack, and it breaks my heart.
Those days I feel frustrated because he isn’t here and we are pinching pennies and can’t go anywhere and do anything, those seem to be the days that I get smacked in the face with how blessed we are and reminded what a great man I was lucky enough to have dropped in my lap.
The house is more of a wreck than usual and the laundry pile hasn’t dwindled much since we got back from my brother’s wedding in Denver. It’s hard to care when we see so little of each other these days. We’re rejoicing in the 5 year old learning to read and being SO excited about it….. and in the 4 year old and his funny sense of humor, and wishing the college girl was home more… because we miss her.
Times like this make me grateful for what I have, and mostly WHO I have…
Work to find joy in what is around you today, because it might not always be the same…. And if you see my husband, give him a pat on the back, he deserves it.